straight from the hell

its been a while
i see myself in the mirror
its been a while
i stopped thinking about her
its been a while i'm with the time
now i can see things changed
changed against my will
i realise i'm on top of the hell
the hell inside me
full of clouds
filled with hate and misery
while i was lost in those clouds
suffocating with pain and agony
everyone is judging me of insanity
i kept proving to myself for my love
its really amazing that
the pattern of love and insanity are almost same
but its ok, its all the same
just like the things in this matrix
i'm happy that i'm no more plugged into the matrix
but the real fact that
she will move far from my sight
is disturbing me till the tip of the roots
but its ok, i deserve that
sometimes this is the only way
the hard way
when i know that she will always be with me
only thing that matters is
she will be with me or
she will not be with me
i'm proud to say that she will be in my heart forever
i have a long path to travel
burning in this hell
i'm unable to forgive myself
so you tell my angel
that my feelings for her are real
and will always be fresh and true

My heart and its box

my heart, you are my heart
high at stars, in the sky of night
deep to bottom, in the ocean of pain
with your bleedings and fire
set me up to burn alive
killing all my dreams
with all your feelings
making the worst days of life
i'm unable to get over you
unable to let you do like this
not like this, not at all like this
i can't carry you anymore
no matter how important you are
this time i don't need you
so on this dark time of my life
while the coldest blood running through me
i'm planning to lock you in the box
yes the real heart shaped metal box
burried deep inside me
where i can't hear what you say
i can't feel your beat
i can't see, while you try your tears
i can't take your pain anymore
i tried to convince you
this thing ain't worth my life
i have paid for all the things i've done
i know that we will meet again
cos i'll leave the key to god
untill god plays his card
to make me free you
please don't stop beating
but, before i lock you inside
let me say while you hear that
you are my everything
without you i'm just a dead meat,
don't forget to keep this feelings with you
and never forgive me
never forgive me, never forgive me

my perception about love

life is too small to actually gain the full knowledge about love. infact purpose of life is to learn love and give love in return. it is the greatest thing we ever learn in this short span of life. there might be so many things in our lives, but love has some unique qualities which makes it the greatest. here in this post i would like to give my views about love.

what is love that is the first question every one will be curious to know. no one in the past has given a perfect definition about love, but everyone has set an example for love and derived a few ideas about what is love. one of the idea most people will accept is love is a feeling of heart. i do accept on this and want to say that this feeling is just not like anyother feeling. it will be blind, like the origin and strength of this feeling will be mostly not is ones control. ofcourse people can live without love but, the ultimate achievement for anyone in the end is satisfaction with the heart. people spends all their life time trying to find this satisfaction in one thing or the other. its in the nature of the humans itself that they can never be completely satisfied, but satisfaction to certain degree will be a real achievement. one thing to be noticed here is satisfaction with the heart. if someone works along with the heart to achieve his satisfaction, the person will be definitely satisfied and at any stage of the life.

one thing i can surely say about love....if you want to control the world that you are living in.. and push yourself from static to dynamic motion then love is the only force which can make that happen.

to be continued...

The life of death

a true soul
with a bleeding heart
wounded by a rejection
for the feeling of my love
cursed by this place
throwed myself into the ocean
the ocean of pain
with the limbs tied to a stone
the stone of pride
just to make me sink
with the love of my parents
i found myself, hanging to the edge
the edge of responsibilities
crushed down by these forces
i'm unable to sink into depths
keeping this balance
i see myself
carried away by every wave
far away from the sound of the horn
coming from the ship of hope
while the cool breezes of oppurtunites
passing on my way
i'm floating with sickness
along with memories of past
that are feasting upon me
i'm dreaming to fly high in the open sky
listening to the music of the birds
flapping above my head
cheating myself of the shores
drinking the water of misery
unable to save my life
as the time passes by
i'm waiting, i'm floating
i'm living a life of death
praying to god, for my angel
to rescue me
from this life of death

heart vs brain: love mania

judge: hello dear heart and brain, lets discuss
heart: what to discuss... this matter is not to discuss
brain: why not... why can't you compromise... you are hurting our dude... infact because of you everyone is getting pained
heart: yes you can blame me for that... but i'm helpless you know... this matter is my life... not to compromise... why don't you understand me...
judge: ok do this dear heart
heart: ya i'm ready what to do
judge: keep the hand on you chest and answer to question honestly
heart: alright, whats the question
judge: are you confused about this matter
heart: no i'm not confused... i know my heart beats...
unlike the brain... i'm not confused and i'm confident on this matter... atleast i know that the dear one will be here till the end
brain: hahahahaha... you know dear heart... you are a big fool... i pity for you...
heart: thank you dear brain... can i know the reason why you call me that... why are you so pitiful
brain: well you don't have any future in this matter... people can't see you... all they can see is my actions and they will judge our dude based on my actions...
heart: you can't say that... i believe in my future... if there is no future... i prefer not to exist... what makes you think there is no future in this matter...
brain: ohhooo i'm little stressed right now... i will ask our dude to light a smoke
.
.
you know about cigarette...
heart: enough... answer my question..
brain: ok... because i can think on both sides... not like you...
heart: may be i can't think... but i can feel things... right now...i will order our dude to keep you in control...
brain: our dude is a dead soul... he can't control me...
heart: dude is not dead... not untill i gave up...
brain: alright... don't give up... else i will be dead too...
judge: dear heart, what else do you feel...
heart: i feel i can survive... even though i'm hurt... and my love is true and pure... it will never put me into trouble...
brain: hahahahaha... i can control your acts...
heart: hahahhaaha... i can control you only... stupid...
judge: stop fighting and discuss...
brain: ok... dear heart... here is the deal... i won't do anything stupid... but you need to comfort me... let me stay idle... i'm just lazy... don't give me any work... ok??
heart: nice try dear brain... i don't deal with you... wen i can order you... and by the way... you can think on both sides right...
brain: yes, so what...
heart: so here is the fact... i can feel it... you are comfortable only wen you can work... else you will be stressed... so how smart you can work prove that...
brain: thanks for the fact... and i will be ready to help our dude out of misery... so call me when ever you need me...
heart: thats really kind... when i come into action... i will deffinitely need your help... so stay in form
brain: alright... i was never out of form... anyway... waiting for you call...
heart: thank you...
judge: this discussion is adjourned for a while

To love

one wish, perhaps one last wish on your name
wish to know that it was you
who took so much of my mind space
may be you 'or' may be me, how to confirm
its all confusing you know
then why is my heart aching for you
every moment as if it will never find you again
is it another sensory organ to confirm aboout you
what ever it is
i'm not a kind of guy to take all this pain
but why are you allowing all this to happen
rather make me feel pain and nothing at all
for giving up things in the past
never took a thing seriously
i lost them all
let it be to find the true sense, its like
untill you loose them you will never know the true value
now i knew i'm standing, standing still
for my time, time to show all
how important you are to my life
how can i prove, is there a proof at this moment
i'm digging deeper, to clear out all these things
struck with all those reasons
with no reason
watching myself under these feelings
judging to remove all the mirror images
controlling to see the world along with you
you belong to me for ever
i know you can command
command my mind from the heart
make me win
you are the medicine for my sickness, heal me
you are the only bind to bond my heart with my dear one
make me show them the inside out
i know i failed, failed badly trying to materialise you
forgive me for those bad times
and don't mind even if i ask that
when i can feel you, why don't you belong to me
why can't you bring me the happiness and joy
i'm ready, ready to face all the difficulties
while i carry you on my way till the end
show me all the reasons to push the sky a little bit high
just for the sun to shine upon me
use your divine power to clean and make me the purest
take me to show the true colours
this life is just for you
searching to know the true meaning
to feel how it feels to be myself when you are in me
and i'm glad that you are the one in my heart
thank you