After a long time

Its been really a long long time since i posted my last article, yet again i am here trying to publish something on this page. lots and lots of things, as a matter of fact everything changed during this long gap, except one thing, i guess i don't have to mention about it specially. nevertheless its my insanity or love.

all this while i was a soulless creature lying on my bed, two things took care about running my time, its the unconscious mind that took me to the places which don't exist except in dreams, the conscious mind involving very less activities and lot of freaking action, the painful part, its always subsidized with the help of sleeping pills and booze.

During this course of time, every second in my previous life felt wasted, everything in this world looked just like a piece of crap, maybe I lost every sense about life and its meaning, i never felt excited, desire is just nullified in every sense of the word. i had seen all the questions in eyes of people questioning my credibility, yet again i never felt anything. i never judged my efforts to get out of this mind set, then i stopped caring. i never felt comfortable talking to people, i felt myself acting in their presence, so i avoided every possible contact and landed up spending time alone. alone i am right now trying to forget that I'm still alive.

hope i will write more...

ASH

Another crazy night

me, myfriend ravi and his best buddy went for a ride on ecr road at half past 12 on july 1st night. this is just for your understanding. leave a comment at the end.

A journey in the dark
set to search and prove the crazyness
that lies under this skin
pushed ourselves to share the free time
close to the nature
unable to find a destiny to the destination
we hit the open roads on bikes
till we fulfilled the passion for riding
as the clock shows beach time
we stepped off the road
and wished to see the waves closely
that are trying to conquer the land
we diverted our journey on the mud road
travelling besides the bushes and trees
standing tall to scare the hell out of us
we saw the road has come to an end
left the bikes safe and silent
started marching on the sand
all of a sudden a pale look on all our faces
a strange sound by a bird deep inside bushes
made us question about the place
but the heaven on earth is just a few steps ahead
even though the fear is upon us we couldn't stop
laughed and marched into the beach
we were thrilled at the beauty of the place
its really gods own place
the straight and long shore line
under the dim half moon light
cool breezes from the sea
filled with fog and mist
passing our way
with slow and lazy waves
hitting our legs with a sensitive touch
the place is quiet and lonely
no light in the sight of eye
except the dim half moon light
trying to hide behind the clouds
alone and calm
we were walking slowly on the beach
with conversations full of silence
hearts filled with unnamed joy
the time passed unnoticingly
leaving a good memory
deep inside our hearts
this waves just can't stop
till the end
which reminds of my wish
while i can only wish my wishes
a very good luck
to make the best memory for this life
thank you

Summer of 007

lift the heads high and steady
keep the silence full and up
let the heart work instead of ears
cos this is my life
it is not what it used to be
lost it all under the heat of summer
in a room full of darkness
lying down on my death bed
holding myself tightly
praying to the gods and the angels
how I fell for it and lost myself
at the critical time of life
giving a different image to everyone
Every time they look at me
taking the pain as a punishment
The summer has left upon me
Waving to all those moments
As I fall behind the time
While the sun is showing his anger
summer took my career and sleep
bet me down morally and physically
Took everything that I can’t replace
made me felt death is better than life
Shook me with a disturbance that I can’t withstand
With all those times that I can’t name
With all those scars that I can’t erase
The summer is gone
Teaching me some good lessons
That made me feel
Life is more than just a challenge
I realize I can’t force others wishes
For what I’m
With the seasons changing
Bringing in rains along with the hopes
I see myself shooting for the moon
I’ll be happy if I can catch a star
Just to prove that my love is true
As I wish my wishes to be remarkable
Wish me all the best

The shadow and me

Time is running, this life is falling
All the debts are standing tall and pending
Moments are passing while I’m not caring
My Heart is drinking everything
Leaving me with nothing
Tears are freezing along with the nights
The sight of the future is missing
Taking choice out of choice
Opportunities are high and unconvincing
Leaving the mind to its own
While I’m ready to lend a hand
Nights are getting tougher and tougher
Days are becoming useless
Another Soul is getting wasted
In the name of the holy word called love
It’s just not okay
This life is more than ordinary
every moment is meant to be a super journey
the world i live in and the tears i'm dropping
everything is saying its the time to go
With the shadow still standing beside
a new life is waiting on the other side
Feels like i need more than myself
Just to be on the other side
It’s okay I’m always a loner
untill the shadow beside me comes alive
all that remains in the end is
when can i build a bridge
to take me on to the otherside
with the past still standing upon me
i'm trying, i'm building a bridge
which can bring the shadow to life

The broken glass

Just a glass, just another glass
Shining look on its face
From the glow on my face
Showing scratches of the past
With a smile on its face
Banged in by my hand
Just in a matter of glance
Defeated till the end
With the echo of the falling pieces
Resonating all over the place
Leaving the mark on my hand
With a blood oozing wound
Piercing into my heart
Telling me it’s a foolish moment
Realized by the truth
Looked into the broken glass
While the shattered glass pieces
Laughing boldly at me
Questioning me what I’ve achieved
Other than ruining the glass
How can I tell the broken glass?
That my life is no different from yours
Except the fact
that I’m human and one chapter ahead of it
Believe it or not dear
There is no space for broken things in this world
Forgive the world if they treat you the same
And wish me good luck
While I try not to loose control again
In the rest of my cursed life
Good bye

straight from the hell

its been a while
i see myself in the mirror
its been a while
i stopped thinking about her
its been a while i'm with the time
now i can see things changed
changed against my will
i realise i'm on top of the hell
the hell inside me
full of clouds
filled with hate and misery
while i was lost in those clouds
suffocating with pain and agony
everyone is judging me of insanity
i kept proving to myself for my love
its really amazing that
the pattern of love and insanity are almost same
but its ok, its all the same
just like the things in this matrix
i'm happy that i'm no more plugged into the matrix
but the real fact that
she will move far from my sight
is disturbing me till the tip of the roots
but its ok, i deserve that
sometimes this is the only way
the hard way
when i know that she will always be with me
only thing that matters is
she will be with me or
she will not be with me
i'm proud to say that she will be in my heart forever
i have a long path to travel
burning in this hell
i'm unable to forgive myself
so you tell my angel
that my feelings for her are real
and will always be fresh and true