if you were the only one to whom i can say everything about myself then.....

this post looks life self analysis, wen some one asks you to tell them about yourself briefly.... this thing generally happens in an interview or at any other instance but the real difference between present post and such type of situations is honesty.... i want to be honest to you because you are the only one for me.... and the mind setup and the thoughts that will rise at the situation of answering... well here is my analysis and conclusion for the present state of mind...

• i'm obsessed with myself because you rejected me....
• i'm dead for the last few months....
• all my dimensions are dying and i'm helpless right now...
  
• i lost my career... and i'm sad because it is happening such an important time of my life
• i'm angry upon myself because of all these things....
• my presence among friends haunts me a lot inside... with a bad feeling i can't explain
  
• i'm really sick in and out...
• i'm waiting for a miracle to happen in my life...
• i'm waiting with fear... what will happen in the few coming days...
• most of all i need you at this point of life to stand beside me...
• i'm curious to know... abt me in your view...
• it hurts me too bad inside wen i want to laugh...
• but i built a fence of pride... it is not allowing me to do anything....
• my world is becoming empty day by day...
• my senses are all dead... i don't feel pain or any other such feelings...
• i want to leave everything behind and wish to run away far from here...
• i wish i should be dead by now...
• i'm addicted to smoking and this kind of living...

my feelings, the wishes that my brain generates from the power it gains from the smoke that burns my lungs in and out every second, the things that want to express so emotionally.... that i love you, i love you the most, if i got a chance to stand back on my own again i will never loose you... i won't make a single mistake, even though i don't feel them as mistakes wen i do them when i sit back alone with a smoke this thing comes to my mind that i'm not satisfied with what i'm doing but what can i do i'm failing to push, this thing is stopping me from doing all those things that i want to do. how can anyone get raid of this pride that you build everything on my own. is there anything which can put me back in that track... i'm really thankfull to everyone if such a mirracle happens in my life or give me that love which i'm expecting from you and i will take you to a different world where there won't be time only happiness and joy... i will prove to yourself that you are special to the whole world that i'm going to build around you...